I'm Still Struggling

If the death of Michael Jackson was one of those rare unifying moments that brought people together en masse to mourn and reflect, it seems that Steve McNair's vicious murder will instead be a polarizing one. I know that I have offended/disgusted/disappointed a few people on Twitter with my thoughts regarding the killing, but I feel how I feel. It's also difficult to present an entire argument in 140 character bursts, so I thought I'd break down my personal feelings on my personal blog. If you don't wish to deal with them, the 'x' in the right hand corner will always be your friend.

Steve McNair, in my opinion, did not deserve to die. I know that some would disagree, because the Bible states "the wages of sin are death" (I thought that was just a cleaver Me'Shell N'Degeocello line for years, btw). I also know that a lot of other Christians who are usually quick to jump up and down and extol the "sins" of gays and others, even in the face of their murder, are unusually quiet on this matter. I have heard (primarily from Black men) "We didn't know what was going on with him and his wife." Well, we know one thing that was: adultery.

I'll say it again so people understand that I mean it: barring some as yet exposed evidence that he had physically terrorized this woman in some way, Steve McNair did not deserve to die. Under my code of morality, what he did wrong was not something that merited death as a punishment. HOWEVER, it is because McNair broke his covenant with God and his wife and took on a disturbingly young girlfriend (one who was a teen at the time of their initial engagement) that he is no longer here. We often consider divorce, financial turmoil, unplanned pregnancy, disease transmission and issues with one's children to be the primary consequences of an affair. However, as with any situation we place ourselves in, there can be unforeseen troubles that arise. Such is the case here.

We are too accepting of infidelity in this country. We seem to take for granted that most men- especially Black men and especially those of means- will cheat, are entitled to do so even! Face the facts: McNair made a choice that cost him his life, his wife a husband and his children a father. It so happened that he died by the gun, so people find it easy to ignore his culpability. What if she had given him AIDS or if they had died the night she got a DUI just days before the murder suicide? McNair gambled with the lives and safety of himself and his family and he lost.

And for anyone who wants to cry "victim blaming", this is the same as someone getting assaulted while robbing a house. It doesn't ignore the crime against the criminal, but we have to acknowledge that the victim wouldn't have been assaulted had they been where they were supposed to be and did what they were supposed to do.

As for this woman, while I can't help but wonder what was wrong with her to push her to such a heinous act, I do believe there has to be a special place in Hell for someone who steals a woman's husband and then steals his life. I wish she had just blown her own brains out. Well, I wish that she had been raised better, received the help she needed to deal with her own issues and that she had never been a trifling, low life whore. I'm sad for her two, to be so messed up at 20 years old is heartbreaking. And having a full grown man with money sniffing around your drawers and dangling Escalade keys isn't the sort of remedy she needed. What a pathetic woman, to kill the father of four children...for what?

When you get married and/or procreate, you can no longer live your life for yourself. You have greater commitments to honor. The things a single person can do, like taking up with a crazy young broad, should be no more. Your decisions impact not only your own life, but the lives of those who love and depend on you. I wish Steve McNair to rest in peace, but more so, I wish he had chose wiser. And I hope that people learn from this instance and realize the weight your choices can have.