Black Is Black As Black

I have the site set up where I moderate comments that are received more than a week after the original entry was posted. I read them, but I don't usually engage older discussions again, 'cause I have usually made my point by then. However, I have been stewing a little over a comment that was made last week about a post from September regarding Black folks' unhealthy relationship with complexion. In the original post, I addressed the fact that Black folks tend to bemoan preference for light skin and accept (if not celebrate) those who solely/typically desire darker-skinned mates:

Why the double standard? I have two theories. The most obvious being that because darker-complexioned folks have been the greater victims of the legacy of slavery's caste system, celebrating them serves as a criticism of their disenfranchisement. There hasn't been a time in Afro-American history where being light-skinned made one vilified or considered less-attractive, so there is no widespread need to celebrate or convince ourselves that "light is beautiful". That notion has been shoved in our faces for far too long.

I also believe that Black people tend to associate darker skin with authentic Blackness. As a result, when we hear someone laud the looks of a darker brother or sister, we subconsciously interpret this as an affirmation of their appreciation for Blackness. Thus, a Black man proclaiming his appreciation for dark skin and kinky hair is celebrating his Black heritage, whereas a Black man extolling the beauty of light skin and curly hair is revealing his self-hatred or color issues.

Here is the recent comment from "Foxy Black":

"I don't think that a preference for dark skin is as wrong as a preference for light. Let's face it...we are (when not diluted with other blood) a dark people. To prefer lighter skin is to prefer black when it is not fully black.

I find that lighter skin people, men and women, tend to ASSUME that people want them. That makes people like me say 'to hell with you'. I like darker skinned men and I'm not sorry for that.

And like jenteel said, when people say they want to be 'darker' or they want a 'dark' man, what are they really wanting? Do they just mean caramel or milk chocolate? Even a man with a peppermint pattie complexion still has some trouble."

It's rare that a comment on this blog makes me upset but this comment made me...well, upset. It's not that I am surprised that people feel this way, as she pretty much summed up the attitude that I described in my piece. But you know how there are things that you may secretly think or feel, but wouldn't express publicly because you KNOW it's kinda ignorant or flat-out wrong? Yeah, I would have put this comment in that boat.

I personally think that when it comes to having color-preference, it's one thing to be drawn usually to a certain type and another to say "I only like XYZ" or "Only XYZ men are attractive." I also think it's somewhat normal to be skewed in the direction of mates who resemble a parent. I know I begrudgingly accepted that I am particularly attracted to tall light skinned men and figured that it had to do with the fact that my first image of manhood was a tall, light-skinned father. And as a daddy's girl, I've been subconsciously looking for a man who reminded me of him either physically or in terms of behavior and attitude. I also think that as a function of the ego, we tend to seek mates who remind us of ourselves. Looking back at the men I have liked the most in my dating/crush having history, the ones I wanted most resembled me in a lot of ways: physically, personality-wise, interests, profession, etc. So yeah, big sturdy high-yellow artsy boys tend to score rather high in my book. But it doesn't negate the good looks of men who don't look like me.

However, I don't think that I should feel any shame about my preference more than the dark complexioned sister who tends to prefer chocolate men. I think it's the folks who are ONLY attracted to one sort of look or who are primarily attracted to folks who look different from themselves or different from their parents who are speaking to some sort of issues. I.E. the friend I had in high school who was the color of dark cocoa and said "When I think of a pretty girl, light skinned girls are the first thing that come to mind." His mother, who he had a great relationship with, looked just like he did. So did his dad.

HOWEVER, we had this conversation in September and I didn't want to have it again. What "Foxy's" comment raised in me was frustration at the notion that complexion is a quantifier of Blackness. I find that absurd. Now, we are all intelligent to realize that there is no standard scale for accessing degrees of Negritude and there is, of course, a difference between being racially Black and culturally Black (though I would argue that one can be the former and not the latter, but one MUST be the former to be the latter). And we know that there are a number of ways one could be culturally Black, even if they hate Rap, basketball, Soul Food and many of the other cultural products typically associated with Blackness.

But is "Foxy" implying some sort of reverse one-drop rule? Where "authentic" Blackness is determined by complexion and percentage of non-Black blood in one's veins? We aren't in the Sudan. We are generations upon generations removed from Africa. One could look like Vanessa Williams and have never met a relative who was anything but Black. Would she be less Black than someone who had stronger African features? What about the browner-skinned biracial kid who doesn't look mixed. Is she Blacker than him? I've know folks who looked as "out of place" in their family as Denise and Sandra did to the other Huxtables. That's what happens with generations of race mixing and complexion mixing and science stuff that I really don't know much about.

We are NOT a "dark people". As Africans in America, or even globally, we are a people of many, many complexions. We are as much Barack as we are Michelle. And while MOST Africans were typically darker at some point in our history, we are in 2009. If Blackness were determined by complexion only, perhaps people would wear Clarence Thomas on their t-shirts instead of Malcolm X. Black is as Black does. And while not everything we do is beautiful or for the best interests of the collective, it is not complexion that determines one's value in the community. 50 Cent is dark. Huey Newton is light. Who represents a better image of Black manhood? Where does the man who looks like 50 and acts like Huey fit in?

Theoretically, I understand what "Foxy" is saying: to appreciate dark skin and to value it most is to value who you are and where you came from. However, it would be foolhardy to act as if we are not hundreds of years deep in looking like all shades of the complexion rainbow. If dark skin once meant something about your proximity to Africa and Blackness in thought or action...it doesn't now. Find another way to express your love for who you are as an African descendant, because marginalizing high yallers and mulattoes isn't going to cut it.

In fact, "Foxy", I'm of the opinion that I am Blacker than you, despite being (presumably) lighter. Care to challenge that? I'd gladly publish a counterpoint.

Sister Toldja-
Black as the Ace of Spades
Black as Kathleen Cleaver
Black is as Black does