A Call For Peace

Listen up folks, I have something I need to ask and it's not gonna be easy. Now, many of you are preparing to make the trip to DC this weekend to celebrate the inauguration of President-Elect Obama. And I am sure that you have heard that there are millions of people expected to hit a city that boasts a population of barely 600,000. I, who usually does just fine in big crowds, am actually a little nervous about this trip. I understand that this is a historical moment and so many people need to see, feel and experience it. However, I think the only way this can be a remotely successful and enjoyable event for all attendees is if a certain group decides to stay home: White people.


Yes you, and your "liberal" scarf too.

Now, before you guys start with the "Obama is about unity and change and friendship" or "He's half-Whiiiiite!" and "I'm a liberal" and "My third cousin twice removed has a neighbor who may or may not be half-octroon", I just want you to see where I'm going with this. DC is mad small. Maaaaad small. I know, because I ran those streets for about five years. There just isn't enough room for everybody to go. Now, if we look at it mathematically, you will see why I am asking White people to stay home:

Chances Whites have had to go see the inauguration of a White president: 43
Chances Blacks have had to go see the inauguration of a Black president: 1

Now, I should be able to stop the argument here, shake hands and know that I will be able to comfortably enjoy my time in DC without being crushed to death by people who should have very well stayed home. But I know that sheer logic is not enough to deny the White man what he wants. *Le sigh*

So let's look at it this way: while we realize that Barack couldn't have been elected without White people, what is the whole reason that his win was so amazing, so seemingly impossible? Oh yeah....WHITE PEOPLE. Why yes, those decades and decades of oppression and racism did make the idea of a Black president sound crazy, didn't they? I think instead of coming to DC and patting yourselves on the back for a job well done (AKA doing the right thing for once), Barack's inauguration day should be a day of atonement for White people. Stay home and think about all the ways you can REALLY support our new President's message of hope and change by confronting your racism. Most White people will tell you that they are not racists, but have done zip, zlich, zero to eradicate racism...though they could have a much bigger impact in doing so that most Black folks ever could.

Something else worth considering- like it or lump it, Black people are gonna turn Inauguration Weekend into All Star Weekend. The club is gonna be jumpin' jumpin' like Destiny's Child circa 1999. We know that we party a little bit differently than you guys....


Black party


White party

So...yeah, White folks. Stay home, I promise to take plenty of pictures and tell you all about it. We can share him on January 21st, but on THE BIG DAY...he's ours. We need this more than you, trust.

I'm just sayin,
Sister Toldja