De, Come and Get Jo and Ci...Quick!

Sidenote- I'm so bored, so, so bored. Usually I would be at somebody's bar on a Wed. night, or chilling with some friends. Nope. This is day FOUR of cell-phonelessness. I missed the delivery two days in a row! I'm staying my ass put tommorrow! It's supposed to come between 2 and 5. UPS be lyin'. And I have a phone interview at 6! HELP!

Y'all know Jodeci is one of my all-time fave groups. I gave them a loving tribute a few months ago. So, you know it hurts me to my heart to do this.

He's baaa-aaack....

Damn, damn, DAMN!

So, a month or so ago, TV One aired the season finale of Bill Bellamy's "Who Got Jokes". Of course, me not having cable, I knew nothing about it. But my little buddy Austin (hey boo!) told me that Mr. K-Ci Hailey himself gave a rousing performance. Thank GOD for YouTube!!!!

And it goes a little something like this:


Important notes:

0:05 Bill Bellamy gets the crowd amped by mentioning Jodeci...then lets them down a bit with K-Ci and Jojo...then, damn, it's just K-Ci.
0:11 Mr. Hailey purchased this outfit from the Uncle Lester LeRoy collection. He opted not for the matching hat. Damn.
0:15 "It's my new siiiingle".
0:50 He’s gonna do the Crack Shuffle!!!! Damn, he didn’t follow through.
0:55 Damn, he's been on stage 40 seconds, and he's already mounted his magical horse. He can't be paying that security guard enough to let him rest his man berries on his neck every show. No way. He smoked "Forever My Lady" up a loooong time ago.
2:07“I see you over there Mo’Nique!”
2:15 He just invoked “Come And Talk To Me”. Blasphemous
2:20 “Let me down”
3:00 “No maddda what we’re goin’ thruuuuu”.
3:01 I JUST DIED OF LAUGHTER!!!!!!
3:30 This song seems long as Hell.
4:00 “I I I I I I I I I I….agghhhhhhhh!”
4:05 “Maggghhhh maghhhhhhh” LMAO! He sounds like a Muppet Baby!
4:15 “Can I get a witness? One person? Somebody? Anybody! Everybody!”
4:50 FINALLY over!
5:02 Oh SHIT! It’s Jojo! He’s always sober, so this may be good.
5:03: Jojo lost weight, I wonder how?
5:04 Oh, he’s on drugs.

I will allow you to enjoy the rest of the tape on your own. I’ll just say that, like Bob-bay and Whitney, the Hailey brothers have something in common. Their gonna have to find a security guard with a stronger neck, ‘cause I feel Jojo’s gonna be wanting to take horsey rides reeeeal soon.

Nothing I could EVER say about these two could be as funny as one of the comments I saw on Youtube: “Oh shit, it’s Tron and Ashy Larry!”. LMAOOOOOOOOO!!!




Dear De*: Ya’ll are our only hope now. You must save Jo and Ci. They are fucked up in the gaaaaame, son. It’s all bad. Y’all gonna have to kidnap them and take them to rehab. But not the one with the bald-headed White girl. That place ain’t working, ‘cause we keep seeing her on tv. Somewhere stronger. And please be careful. That big security guard has a special sweet spot in his heart of K-Ci. He may try to fight ya.

I,I,I,I, I,I, aghhhhhhhhh!
Sister Toldja