Chante's Got A Man

.....and that's a good thing, cause I don't how the hell she could keep any homegirls acting the way she do

Chante Moore is one of my favorite singers; not in terms of the number of records she's made that I like, but rather her voice. I hated it when she tried to dumb her sound down with that horrible Jermaine Dupri-produced "Straight Up". Moore has one of the best voices of her genration, in my opinion. Her stuff with her hubby, Kenny Latimore is cool and classy. And they are really cute together. Or, at least in promo pics, 'cause I don't really know them like that.

Anyway, "Chante's Got A Man", which was a hit in 1999 is one of my favorite songs by Moore.¹ However, these are the cruelest lyrics spoke to a woman short of "Bitch Betta Have My Money". Listen to how Moore chooses to console a friend who is less lucky in love than she:

Chante's got a man at home
And he's sure good to me

That's great, Te' Te'. I knew you would find someone. But we gotta talk. Me and Mike are having some serious problems. You see, he's never there. Always sneaking out the house. And when he is home, he beats the shit out of me. All men are all the same, I'll never find anyone better. What should I do?

I'm sorry that your man ain't home
I'm sorry that yours left you alone
It's such a shame your man is playing games

Yeah, this is bad. I don't know what to.......

And I heard you say that men are all the same
No, no, no
It's not the truth girl
Cause I got proof girl
Oh I got proof girl
I got a man at home

Well, I'm sure your man is just great. I mean, you are the 'Queen of the Quiet Storm' and you're so pretty. I didn't doubt you'd find 'the one'. Meanwhile, I got all these bruises and shit. What should I use to keep them from scarring......

Chante's got a man at home
It hurts me your man's leaving you all alone
I can't help it that your baby's bad
Creeping out, cheating on ya, beating on ya
Chante's got a man at home
And he's sure good to me

*Stunned silence*
You don't know much about being sensitive, do you?


Now why'd you let him beat you down
No, no, what's up with that
There's good men around
Don't you know how beautiful you are inside girl
And don't you let nobody go and steal your pride

Pride? Oh, I think I lost that when you just did that little rhyme about my man beatin' and cheatin' on me, thanks.


I once was where you are
Thought men were all the same
But I never gave up hope......
He always treats me right, we never fight
He sends me flowers and wines and dines me
Took me home to meet his momma
How he loves me

*Silently plotting on how she can fuck Chante's man*


Now, in the video, the song ends with Chante getting a call from her dreamboat and depating her homegirls' to go off with him as the lonely women cheer her on. But on the album, the singer answers the phone thinking it's her man....only to find that it is another woman telling Chante about her perfect man's infidelity with her. The latter makes more sense to me, because she had it coming for all that shit she was talking. Encouraging, my ass. She was gloating. Then, "I guess if it can happen to you, it can happen to me....."

Why, yes, I do love the 1990s.
Sister Toldja

¹- You may be wondering why I chose to break down a song from 1999 instead of, say, 2006. 'Cause, 'fuck 2006' is why. 2006 sucks. You wan't me to do a current song? Okay- here's "Upgrade U" by Beyonce feat. Jay-Z:

I hear you be the block
But I'm the lights that keep the streets on

The fuck? Oh no, she saw Def Poetry Jam.

Notice you the type that like to keep them on a
Leash though
I'm known to walk alone
But I'm alone for a reason
Sending me a drink ain't appeasing

Did she just rhyme "though", "alone" and "appeasing? WTF?

Partner Let me upgrade you
Audemars Piguet you
Switch your neck ties to purple labels
Upgrade you

Bronson Pinchot what? OK, I see consummate materialism isn't just for rappers anymore.

I can do for you what Martin did for the people
Ran by the men but the women keep the tempo

What did she just say? She's talking about Martin Lawrence, right? WHAT? TURN THIS SHIT OFF!!!!!